‘Twas the night before Christmas (US Senate style)

Paul Tunnah


Well, another year is almost over and for those of us who celebrate it Christmas is only a couple of days away now. As many take some hard earned rest, the subject of healthcare reform is keeping the Senate very busy in the US, so I thought it might be fun to take a light-hearted look ahead to what Christmas Eve may hold in store (with sincere apologies to the original author)…


‘Twas the night before Christmas (US Senate style)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the House

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

But the Senate revealed a different story,

Filled with folk in an awful furore,

And so they gathered to vote on a bill,

In a quest to save money on every pill.

The Democrats sure of passing it through,

Republicans wanting some further review,

With their Leader Reid driving them on,

The Democrats thought it was sure to be won.

When suddenly came a terrible shout,

As Republicans rolled old Coburn out,

“Pray the Democrats can’t get this passed”,

Said he, firmly raising the opposition mast.

Then Republican Chairman Steele would be heard,

Telling Americans “you’re being flipped the bird!”,

And the pharma execs awoke with a jolt,

Fearing a terrible drug pricing revolt,

With saving money the name of the game,

They knew high drug costs would first get the blame.

But Obama stayed calm and asked for unity,

Addressing them all without impunity,

“Now! Reid, now! Coburn, now! Every CEO,

On! Lieberman, on! Byrd, on! Even my dog Bo”,

“Let’s make this happen for the good of all,

This reform will not be allowed to fall”.

And changes were made to help keep it moving,

In the hope of getting them all approving,

Out went the prospect of cross-border trade,

As the Canadians saw their export hopes fade,

And the public option seemed too much to bear,

Insurance for all such a frightful affair!

But both sides battled, their horns tightly locked,

The opponents so certain the bill would be blocked,

It seemed that progress just could not be made,

Surely healthcare reform would end up delayed?

When from the fireplace a figure appeared,

An elderly man with a great big white beard,

Dressed all in red the old man was standing,

(Something to do with soda drinks branding),

With big winter boots and a thick black belt,

And twinkling eyes that would make your heart melt,

Clearing his throat, he addressed the crowd,

“Ho ho ho”, he bellowed out loud,

“It’s no time for fighting on Christmas Eve,

Back to your families, you must all take leave”.

And an elf appeared with some new legislation,

Which everyone liked to much admiration,

The bill was passed, there was thunderous applause,

Thank goodness they all liked the new ‘Santa clause’.

Then some reindeer appeared with a flying sleigh,

To carry the portly old fellow away,

As everyone laughed, full of festive cheer,

The hooded red figure put his sleigh in first gear,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight —

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Merry Christmas folks!